Short Final

Overheard recently — while I was literally on short final, in fact: Tower: Cessna XXX, you said you were at taxiway Alpha One? Alpha Two? Cessna XXX: Uh… We’re holding at Alpha Three. Tower: Right. One plus Two equals Three.

Overheard October 19, near Las Vegas: United XXX: LA Center, say again the frequency for United XXX. No answer on 133.4. Center: United XXX, 133.4 is correct. Try again. If there’s still no answer, come back up this frequency … and I’ll send somebody over there to smack the dirt out of their ears.

A controller I know has his personal aircraft hangered at the local Muni airport. Facing his hangar is another that houses a Green Cessna 210. One day that Cessna came into his sector. My controller friend recognized the N number and the exchange follows… Controller: N123, is that airplane painted green? Pilot: Uh, yes. …Why? […]

Overheard on the Mexico City ground control freq…. F-100: Ground control, F-100 ready to taxi. Ground: F-100 clear to taxi to Runway 5 left. Follow the 767 ahead of you. F-100: Where is the ’67 going? Ground: To Madrid … but you just follow him till before the runway!!!

From Grand Rapids tower… Tower to Continental ABC: I see that your flight plan states, “no ice”. (pause)Won’t the passengers be upset? Tower (again): Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

I was taking my brother for his first flight in a GA airplane. He was somewhat nervous and a little overwhelmed by what we go through to launch a flight. I picked up the local ATIS on my handheld before engine start and, after we got in the plane and were ready to call for […]

Approach : Heavy 123 : Hold straight and level! Heavy 123: Holding straight and level.(pause)At least, that’s assuming my First Officer can hold straight & Level…

Back in the 70’s, BOAC (British Airways) flew into O’Hare Chicago and their call sign was “Speedbird”… O’Hare: Speedbird xxx slow to 200 kts. Speedbird xxx: Sorry, running late, need to keep the speed up. O’Hare: Ok, turn right 90 degrees and keep your speed up. Speedbird xxx: Errr, how long would we be on […]

Boston Center: Citation XXX, Boston Center now on 123.75. Citation XXX: 127.35, have a nice day. Boston Center: Citation XXX, that frequency is 123.75. Citation XXX: Sorry, 123.75, we were dyslexic but were KO now.

Overheard en route out of Morristown, NJ (MMU) to Covington, KY (CVG)… Departure Control: Continental ABC turn left heading 240 degrees and climb to 11,000. Departure Control: Continental ABC, Simon says turn left heading 240 degrees and climb to 11,000. Continental ABC: Roger, left turn 240 and up to 11,000, Continental ABC. Contributions to Short […]