Short Final

One of the joys of flying in the New York City metro area is listening to the controllers. In addition to being the best in the business, they deliver some good wisecracks, always with that unmistakable accent. We had just landed at Islip (KISP): Islip Tower: “Comair 234, take a left at the next intersection […]

Heard on ground frequency at Oakland‑Pontiac, Michigan, airport. Oakland Ground: “Ground vehicle 1, we’ve had a report of a hawk and a fox fighting at the approach end to 9R. Please investigate.” Ground One (minutes later): “Oakland Ground, this is Ground Vehicle One. The fight is over. The hawk won.” Ground (in his best movie […]

On a beautiful day last fall we were flying a practice ILS at Winnipeg International Airport. We had been cleared for a low approach when I asked the tower: Me: Does the local airport authority charge the $10.00 landing fee if one does a touch and go? Tower: I don’t know but I will check. […]

On a recent trip from Illinois to Arkansas, we overheard the following exchange: Razorback Approach: “Cessna Two Three Tango, Razorback Approach. Have you changed your destination from Houston, Texas?” Cessna 23T: “Razorback Approach, Cessna Two Three Tango. That’s a negative. Destination is still Houston.” Approach (chuckling): “Well Cessna Two Three Tango, on your current heading […]

Two years ago, my fiancee and I were chaperoning my 94‑year‑old grandparents on a Delta Air Lines flight to a vacation destination. Grandma walks just fine, but my World War II Marine veteran grandpa had to use a wheelchair around the terminal and an aisle chair (skinny little wheelchair that fits in the aisle between […]

On a nice fall afternoon, I was returning to my home airport after a Missouri Pilots Association board meeting. Another member was about 10 minutes ahead of me, and we were both on flight following with Kansas City Center. I heard Center give my friend a traffic advisory as we were nearing Kansas City. Center: […]

Approaching Wilkes‑Barre/Scranton Airport, the traffic advisories from Approach were scant until after a bit, Approach said, “Archer 44939, traffic at your 11 o’clock, slow‑moving, type and altitude unknown. I’m not talking to him.” Me: “939 looking.” Approach: “You spot him yet?” Me: “Negative.” Approach: “Might be a train on the mountain.” Sure enough, there it […]

I was a new controller and just assigned to my first duty station, Falcon Field in Mesa, Arizona. I had a pretty good working relationship with my crew mate. It was slow and we had the frequencies on the speaker so we could use handsets instead of wearing headsets. Out of nowhere we get a […]

Every IFR pilot knows the joys and sorrows of routing. Flying home from Massachusetts one afternoon, I heard the following exchange: NY controller: “King Air XXXX, climb and … disregard.” Pilot: “Awwww…” NY controller: “I’ll be right back with you.” Pilot: “Woo‑hoo!” Ed Fischer Philadelphia, PA

I was ferrying my new-to-me warbird home to Texas and bubbling over with new plane pride. Memphis Center: “Focke-Wulf 1234 Traffic at 3 o’clock, 2 mile 6000 feet.” Me (in my best command baritone): “ Tally-Ho! Focke-Wulf 1234 TARGET IDENTIFIED.” Then in my normal Sunday morning voice: “I mean, N-1234 has traffic in sight.” Double […]