Short Final

Heard recently one morning on JFK tower frequency. JetBlue: Tower, is our speed compatible with the aircraft ahead of us? Tower: As long as you don’t go to warp factor 6, you should be fine. Marty Twersky

I was at HEF and heard this on ground frequency. RJXXX: HEF ground this is RJ NXXX at APP FBO ready to taxi with ECHO, ECHo, ECho, Echo, echo, ec Jerry Dahl

Back before Houston’s Hobby airport was given a Class B veil, I had my single engine Beechcraft based there. It was a busy mix of private planes and Southwest Airlines jets. One afternoon, as I was returning to the airport, I was directed to overfly the field and turn final to runway 17. At Hobby, […]

Anchorage Approach:“Skylane X, traffic four miles at your one o’ clock, type and altitude unknown. Possibly birds.” Skylane: We have the birds in sight. Approach: Say type and altitude. Skylane: They’re ducks at 4300 feet, westbound. Don’t get to give a PIREP on ducks every day! William Fraley

About 25 years ago I was hauling cargo in a beat-up C210 at dusk near PFN, FL, and overheard the following: ATC: “Comair 1234, Nat’l Wx Service just advised us they have recently released a balloon in your area and they say “it should be approx your altitude, and it’s pretty large.” Pause of a […]

Some years ago I was flying into a very congested London Heathrow Airport when I heard the following exchange with Heathrow Approach. Heathrow: “Speedbird 123, what is your position in the hold at Lambourne?” Speedbird: “We are just turning outbound at flight level 200.” Heathrow: “Roger, Speedbird, could you possibly cross Lambourne inbound at 3000 […]

I heard this on my scanner and almost fell out of my chair. Jet Blue: “Jet Blue 123 climbing to eight thousand”. No response Jet Blue: “Jet Blue 123 how do you hear?” Bradley Approach: “With my ears: turn left direct Norwich VOR”. Stephen Fogarty

On a routine day of bad weather flying me and the Captain overheard center calling ATC:“Cargo 244 Heavy descend to one seven thousand and hurry through flight level one nine zero.” Heavy: ” Roger, descend to one seven thousand and what rate would you like?” ATC:“HURRY” Heavy: “Were hurrying!, cargo 244!”

During a VFR approach in a busy airport in mostly-Catholic Colombia, a student pilot was given landing clearance. It seemed she didn’t understand the controller. Student: “Could you please confirm?” Tower:Sure: I confirm you in the name of the Father, in the name of the Son…” Of course the controller gave her the right instructions […]

Regional Approach:Citation 123, please give a cloud description on your descent. Citation 123: They’re white. Regional Approach: … Citation 123: Just kidding. Tops were jagged 5,000 down to 4,500. Regional Approach: I literally had nothing to say to that.