Short Final

I was flying just northeast of Dallas on Monday, April 22. This was the first day of sequester-induced cutbacks of controllers. Fort Worth Center:“King Air 12345, cleared direct FINGR for the FINGR3 arrival.” King Air 12345:“Cleared direct FINGR.” Fort Worth Center:“They told us not to give any shortcuts today, but I don’t see any way […]

I had a buyer from Argentina for my unfinished home built aircraft. For tax purposes, the Argentine government required the aircraft not be registered by the FAA. I sent a letter to the FAA requesting a letter stating that the aircraft had not been registered. The FAA’s reply: “Your request for the FAA to notify […]

Maybe this is only funny to those of us who live here, but here it is anyway. The other day, I was buzzing around over the east side of Wichita when I heard this: Wichita Approach:“Bizjet 123, maintain 3,500. Departing traffic from Jabara and Beech Field.” Bizjet 123:“3,500 for 123. You guys sure have a […]

FABC:“Tower, be advised there were several large birds on approach to runway 32.” YKF Tower (spotting birds through binoculars) :“Roger. XYZ, look out for multiple birds of prey on approach.” FXYZ:“Klingons in sight, XYZ.” Michael Schustervia e-mail

A ground controller told me, after I cleared the runway at JFK, to proceed to the gate and then “stay with me.” I said, “Sure. Just give me your address.” The silence was deafening. John Lewisvia e-mail

In the hangar all day listening to our radio, I heard several pilots ask our tower if they were closing. This was the best exchange: N12345:“Are you guys done for?” Tower:“Who do you mean – me or the tower?” N1234U:“Both.” Tower:“I’m done at noon, but the tower is going to be around for a long […]

I don’t remember the exact date, but I overheard this conversation with ATC about 35 years ago. Those were the days when we had the old surplus DGs and transponders were not required near busy terminals. Weather was clear, but a cloud layer had formed over the airport and trapped some students on top. Lost […]

My first flying job was as a flight instructor at Hanger One at Millard Airport (MLE) in Nebraska. One evening in 1989, while working with an instrument student in a Cessna 150, I overheard another instructor, Karl Lindholm, familiarizing his student with tower communications at Epply Airfield in Omaha, Nebraska. With calm winds and no […]

Heard on the tower frequency at an airport that will remain undisclosed to protect the innocent: Cessna 12345:“Tower can you have regional jet ABC meet us on Unicom freqency for a personal message?” Jet ABC:“Tower, tell the Cessna we are a professional crew on a schedule and we don’t have time for idle chit chat.” […]

Jacksonville Center asked a military flight over norther Florida a question: Jacksonville Center:“Dixie 22, confirm you are a flight of two.” Dixie 22:“Dixie22. That is correct. We are a flight of two.” Jacksonville Center:“Well, sir, I show you 17 miles in trail. That is a pretty loose formation, don’t you think?” Dixie 22:“Dixie 22. Roger.” […]