Short Final

Recently, on flight following above Santa Barbara on a beautifully clear afternoon, approach was uncomfortably quiet. After several minutes of silence I called: Mooney 1234:“Approach, Mooney 1234. Is there anybody there to talk to?” Approach:“Mooney 1234, say request.” Mooney 1234:“Just checking to see if it really is this quiet.” Approach:“Yes, it really is.” [Pause.] Approach:“Mooney […]

An airline en route to [airport redacted] asked ATC if the had any smooth rides. Controller:“You won’t find a smooth ride until you taxi into the gate.” Pilot:“You haven’t been [airport redacted] lately. The taxiways are just as bad as this ride!” Kirk Johnson

While landing in BOI last week, we overheard this great question from a pilot: Tower:“Cessna 123, turn left, heading 210, runway 28L; cleared for takeoff.” Cessna:“Cleared for takeoff, Cessna 123.” Tower:“Cessna 123, also: Turn left, heading 210.” Cessna:“You want that after we takeoff, right?” Tower:“Yes, that would be best.” I could barely read back our […]

ATC:“Citation N1234, climb via the SID, but do not exceed 200 knots.” Citation N1234:“Roger. Climb via the SID; do not exceed 200 knots.” [A few moments pass.] ATC:“Citation N1234, resume normal speed.” Citation N1234:“This is our normal speed!” Brian Conway

A few years ago, I flew into RDU really late at night to drop off a couple of folks. On the way out, taxiing down to 5R, ground control called out. Ground Control:“Twin Cessna, where are you going?” Me:“To 5R.” Ground Control:“You were cleared to 5L.” Me:“Would you like me to do a 180 and […]

I just now heard this while listening to the McKinney, Texas (KTKI) tower: N1234:“McKinney Tower, N1234 is 10 east, inbound at 2,500 for touch-and-goes.” Tower:“N1234, ident.” N1234:“Ahhh. Uh. I am about 10 east at 2,500; heading: 270 — a red-and-white Cessna 172.” Tower:“N1234, just press the identbutton on your transponder please.” N1234:“Oh, O. K.” Ron […]

Back in the late ’90s, as a radio operator on MC-130E Combat Talons, I was returning to EGI from the East Coast. As I neared home, the pilot asked:“R. O., see if we can get lower.” I asked ATC for lower, as directed by the pilot. The kind folks at ATC denied our request. The […]

Going through Air Force pilot training at what was Williams Air Force Base (now Phoenix-Mesa Gateway Airport), we used tactical call signs for our training flights, and one of those was “Foe.” The numeric portion of the call sign was determined by the last two digits (minutes) of your scheduled takeoff time One day, a […]

Heard over north central Florida: Cirrus 123CD:“Jacksonville Center, Cirrus 123CD. 5,000.” Jacksonville Approach:“Mooney 123CD, altimeter 30.05. Fly heading 220.” [no reply] Jacksonville Approach:“Mooney 123CD, fly heading 220.” Cirrus 123CD:“Sir, was that for 123CD? Because you keep calling us a Mooney, but we are a Cirrus.” Jacksonville Approach:“Well, if you keep calling me ‘Center,’ I’m going […]

In 2009, I was making multiple flights around the southeast U.S. and landed in Columbia, South Carolina at Columbia Downtown Airport (KCUB) on multiple occasions for business. The runway at KCUB is parallel and adjacent to an active railyard. After contacting the KCUB tower for my IFR departure clearance on a clear VFR day, the […]