Short Final

An AA jet landed in ORD in the early morning before the beginning of a typical busy day. Expecting the usual complex taxi instructions, they instead had the following exchange: American 123:“Morning, O’Hare Ground. American 123 clearing 32 left for K8.” O’Hare Ground Control:“American 327, O’Hare Ground. Good morning. Taxi to the gate.” [Long pause.] […]

Greetings from South Africa. My story concerns ZS SAJ, a classic jumbo that received a loud and traditional paint job as part of South Africa’s bid for the 2010 Olympic games. Whilst taxiing at JFK, the ground controller asked, “Say, Springbok, did you park in a bad neighborhood last night?” Tod Burnsvia e-mail

During the ’80s, while with Mugu Approach, a controller asked an aircraft “to state position.” Pilot came back: “Fiscally conservative. Socially, somewhat liberal. Two miles west of Point Dume.” Greg Andrewsvia e-mail

Last week at our local airport (CYKF), the automated AWOS/ATIS was out of commission. So one of our well-known ATC guys (Dave Clark, who was working ground control at the time) was heard on the ATIS frequency stating: “The automated AWOS/ATIS is currently unavailable. Winds are light and variable, and vis is CAVOK; runway 14 […]

The company that I was with had a chief pilot who liked to play with ATC (in the ’60s): Bonanza 123:“Bonanza 123. Give me the word. I want to make like a bird.” Detroit Tower:“You got the nod. Leave the sod!” Bud Walkervia e-mail

Back in the ’70s, a Southern gentleman friend was an airline pilot who owned a C-182 that he called “Juan” – as in “Juan Eighty-Two.” His N-number ended in 4Q, and if he either wanted a laugh or didn’t like an ATC instruction, he acknowledged with, “Roger. Four Q.” Pronounced in that Southern-gentlemanly style that […]

In the early ’70s in Orlando, an Aztec, N910JQ, would always ask for a straight in to Herndon. So we could say: “Nine ten Jack Queen has a possible straight.” Jim Woolfvia e-mail

While flying a Beech 18 in the late 1960s, my instructor requested take-off clearance in an unusual way: XXX Tower:“Twin Beech N1234 ready to accelerate on runway heading to generate sufficient lift to overcome the effects of gravity.” Without skipping a beat, the tower retorted:“Twin Beech N1234, you are cleared to accelerate on runway heading […]

I heard the following a few days ago over eastern Kentucky: Flagship 123:“Indy Center, Flagship 123 climbing through 12,000.” Indy Center:“Flagship 123, roger. What was your assigned heading?” Flagship 123:“370.” Indy Center:“370?!” Flagship 123:“370.” Indy Center:“O.K. Continue present heading.” Dennis Mahanvia e-mail

This gave me a little chuckle because it rhymed so well. The pilot knew too, as he said it with pauses: Line up and wait…Runway 28…Cirrus 188 Shawn Byersvia e-mail