Short Final

From Naples [Florida] tower (KAPF): Student Pilot Preparing for Departure to Miami:“Tower – so, then, you want me to go east?” Naples Tower:“Well, that would be the easiest way to get to Miami – unless you want to go completely around the globe.” Paul Scottvia e-mail

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Heard over Oklahoma City approach frequency on a busy day: Approach:“American One Twenty-Three, descend pilot’s discretion. Maintain 6,000.” American 123 [after a long pause] :“Oak City, American One Twenty-Three. Did you call us?” Approach:“American One Twenty-Three, descend pilot’s discretion. Maintain 6,000.” American 123:“Say again.” Approach [getting a bit […]

Some years ago, I was flying a red, white, and blue Decatalon out of Petaluma airport in northern California when I asked Oakland Center for some information: Oakland Center:“N12345 – are you flying a red, white, and blue airplane?” Me:“Don’t tel me you now have colored radar!” Oakland Center:“Naw. I fly the Decatalon out of […]

It happened a couple of years ago in France, at La Fert-Allais (LFFQ) near Paris, a quite busy GA airport. A few planes were lined up for take-off behind a plane with a female student pilot and her instructor performing an apparently very long checklist. It had already taken 5 to 10 minutes, and the […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” While on a Bay tour near San Francisco, a Cessna 172 pilot received an instruction from San Francisco tower to turn to a heading of 120 degrees for noise abatement. Cessna:“Noise abatement?” ATC:“Yeah. Did you ever hear the sound a Cessna makes when it hits a 747?” Richard […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” While on an Angel Flight into Baltimore, Maryland last fall, the following radio exchanges took place: Us:“Baltimore approach, Angel Flight is tuned into the localizer, but the needle is all over the place, and we’re hearing jazz music.” Airliner in the Vicinity:“Baltimore, we’d like to hear some jazz, […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” After several practice instrument approaches into Lakeland, Florida, I stopped and headed to the restaurant. Later, when ready to leave, I called ground control: Me:“Control, ready to taxi VFR to X39.” Ground (chuckling) :“Cessna Three Four Five, it would be quicker if you flew, but if you would […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” We were flying from Chatham, Massachusetts to Nantucket with flight following from Cape approach. The weather was marginal VFR with heavy haze and reasonably poor visibility when, out of the mist, we heard this on the air: Cape Approach:“Cessna Four Five Six, are you aware that you are […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” This comes from a search-and-rescue pilot at Canadian Forces Base, Bagotville, Qubec. It allegedly happened late one night during bad weather, as heard over the tower radio: First Voice (helicopter pilot):“Roger, I’m holding at 3,000 over the beacon.” Second Voice (panicky):“No, you can’t be doing that – I’m […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Near Boca Raton, Florida, I heard an unknown airplane call, its transmission totally garbled. Boca Raton Tower:“Aircraft calling Boca Raton: Unreadable!” Unknown Airplane:[Again, totally garbled.] Boca Raton Tower:“Aircraft calling Boca Raton: Suggest trying another radio. You sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher.” Don TrippTequesta, Florida