Short Final

High-speed taxi … or low-speed takeoff. I landed in the first 150 feet of a runway in a Flightstar (Vx = 40 KIAS) and was taxiing past the main taxiway where an Air Asia 737 was waiting… Tower: 9M-EAU please expedite. Me: Wilco, 9M-EAU. […while acclerating to about 15 knots on the ground.] Air Asia […]

Overheard at my local ‘drome this [superbowl] weekend… N465: Ground, N465 at Pacific Aviation, VFR to the west with Victor, ready for taxi, we’re going to need a progressive, please. Ground: N465, roger. Alpha three, right Bravo, hold short 27 Right.[short pause]Unknown: Hike!

Submitted by a friend of AVweb… Heard over the UNICOM: Cessna XYZ: “Cessna XYZ taking runway 10.” Unknown voice: “Well, don’t take it very far. There’s another plane on final.”

If ever you’ve lost your place… I fly “co-pilot” for a national carrier. This particular dark and stormy night had me eager for some real world practice. The captain had other ideas. Me: I’d like to fly the approach tonight if you don’t mind. Captain: …and how many times have you flown this one before? […]

Actually broadcast on the West Palm Beach (KPBI) ATIS during the first week of the new year. “Attention all pilots, don’t land on taxiway Lima located between runway 27 right and 27 left … [pause] … Duh!””

An oldie, but a goodie…Overheard while flying freight near Frankfurt. ATC: F1243, desend and maintain 12-thousand. F1234: 12-thousand, F1234. ATC: F1234, can you make it to 12 in one minute? (short pause) F1234: Negative. The captain requests I inform you we’re going as fast as this Fokker will go. (silence) ATC: …Right. Lufthansa 456, turn […]

When congestion isn’t the real problem… Here is my recollection of a conversation heard on 128.25 last Saturday: Aircraft on Approach: Get off the runway I am landing. Aircraft on Runway: Maybe you should go around if I am not fast enough for you. Aircraft on Approach: I can’t, I have a terrible crosswind, I […]

Slow day at the FSS? I’m a student at Daniel Webster College, and one particularly nasty winter morning last year I was calling the briefer before my 7AM flight… Me: Good morning this is N—DW, I’d like a standard VFR brief for the Nashua area and … Briefer (cutting me off): You’re not going anywhere […]

Specificity 101 Heard on Philadelphia Approach: Duke 1234: Philly Approach, we’re gonna begin our VFR descent for the field. Controller: Duke 1234, say altitude descending to. Duke 1234: We’re descending for the field. Controller: Roger, Duke 1234, say altitude descending to. Duke 1234: Well, the field elevation is 78 feet, so … hopefully, we won’t […]

Recently heard at Manchester international: Nameless 747 jock: “Ground, can you confirm that a ‘400 will fit between these two lamposts?” ATC: “Yip, absolutely, no shadow of a doubt, definitely will.” … pause … ATC: “Assuming you are on the centreline…..”