Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” A few winters ago over Missouri: Center:“Delta 246, climb and maintain FL350. Traffic three o’clock, 20 miles at FL310.” Delta 246:“Roger. Delta 246 departing FL310 for FL350. We see traffic at our nine o’clock position, level.” Center:“Ahh – roger, Delta 246. That was three o’clock Zulu, nine o’clock […]

Overheard flying into Reno for the air races this year, about a TFR for a fire about 100 miles east of the city: Cessna Pilot to Oakland Center:“Cessna XXX checking in. VFR 8,500.” Oakland Center:“Be advised your present route will take you into a TFR about 20 miles ahead of you.” Cessna Pilot:“O.K. We’re looking […]

A student pilot was doing touch-and-goes at Sioux Falls Regional Airport (South Dakota) and had just completed his third one. Tower:“Piper 123, what are your intentions?” Student [after a long pause] :“Honorable.” Larry Vettermanvia e-mail

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” On a snowy afternoon at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport, the arrival spacing turned out to be inadequate for the as-yet-unplowed runway: Tower:“Commuter 1234: Runway 14R, cleared to land. request braking report. Braking is reported fair, but if you can make taxiway T5 for spacing, it will help the heavy […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” I heard this on the air between a Bonanza and Kansas City Center: Center:“Bonanza One Alpha Bravo, turn right 20 degrees, vector for MOA.” Bonanza:“Sorry. I didn’t know it was hot tonight. How low does it go? Maybe I could just go under it.” Center:“Well, it’s a military […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Approach:“You need to say your altitude is 2999 feet.” Cessna:“But my altitude is 3000.” [radio silence] Approach:“If you say your altitude is 2999, you won’t be in Class B airspace without a clearance. If you say your altitude is 3000, you’re in Class B without clearance.” Cessna:“Ah. My […]

Heard on the ATL Approach: Cessna 123:“ATL, can we get flight following?” ATL:“123, give location.” Cessna 123:“Squawk 0130, baro 30.21.” Cessna 123:“South of VPC.” ATL:“123, you’re squawking the baro pressure. Squawk 0130.” (He must have been partying late.) Gary Austinvia e-mail

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Heard on Chicago Center frequency: Pilot:“Chicago, Piper 12345 en route to St. Louis. Request flight following.” Center:“Piper 12345, where in the world are you?” Pilot:“I’m down below the water [meaning south of Lake Michigan], heading for St. Louis.” Center (deadpan) :“Piper 123, it must be pretty wet down […]

Heard on the air near KTRK (runways 19 and 28 in use today): Cessna:“Truckee Unicom, Twin Cessna XXX eight miles southwest. Runway advisory, please.” Unicom:“Winds are 190 at 20, gusting 30. All runways are open.” Cessna (slightly clueless sound in his voice) :“Do you have a suggested runway?” Unicom:“Most aircraft are using 19, right traffic.” […]

Inbound to ATL area, the following exchange took place with Memphis Center: Memphis:“Lear 905RL, you’re cleared direct Bunni for the Dumbb Bunni2 arrival.” N905RL:“Roger. Cleared direct Bunni for the Dumbb Bunni arrival. “Question: who codes these things anyway?” Memphis Center:“Special controllers for all the really special pilots.” Steve Shattuckvia e-mail