Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” On a recent flight, a controller instructed myself and another pilot of each other’s position and had us make the required adjustments. The controller was quite jovial and introduced himself as “Bruiser,” warning us that he didn’t want to see a repeat of the incident that earned him […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” I heard this inside Orlando, Florida’s airspace: Approach:“Delta 345: Sorry I didn’t give you higher earlier. Climb and maintain one four thousand. I didn’t wanna spill your coffee this morning.” Delta:“That’s okay; this guy is very smooth.” Approach:“I heard he’s so smooth, he’s gonna open a gas station, […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Heard near Allentown, Pennsylvania some years back: Commuter:“Allentown approach, Commuter 123, inbound with information -“ [long pause] Commuter:“Oh, hell. I threw it away already.” John PricePlainfield, New Jersey

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” A student pilot finally spotted the airport after getting multiple vectors. Pilot:“Tower, I’d like to make this a touch-and-go and then depart the pattern.” Tower:“Oh no! It took so much effort for us to get you here, and now you want to leave right away.” Paul Scottvia e-mail

I got a chuckle out of this one Monday. Maybe the humor was from voice inflection. Unknown Pilot #1 (On Guard):“Hey, Greg – are you up?” Unknown Pilot #2 (On Guard) [presumably “Greg”]:“You’re on guard!” Pilot #1:“Really?” Pilot #2:“Really.” Pilot #1:“Well, so are you!” George Borasvia e-mail

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” I was flying my shift as a traffic watch pilot in a Cessna 172 here in Southern California and had just contacted March Air Force Base approach to transit their Class C airspace. Me:“March approach, good afternoon. Traffic Watch One Two Three, 35,000 feet.” March Approach:“Traffic Watch One […]

Overheard at Page Field Airport (FMY): FMY Approach:“Grumman 1 Romeo X-ray, how many souls on board?” Grumman 1RX:“Two S-O-Bs.” Tony G.via e-mail

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” I heard this one over California: Los Angeles Center:“Beech 633, cleared for the approach to San Luis Obispo.” Beech 633:“Cleared for the approach.” Los Angeles Center:“Beech 633, how will this approach terminate?” Beech 633:“Successfully, we hope.” Emery StephensWhite Plains, NY

While flying my Archer from Wilkes-Barre/Scranton to Lancaster (PA), I heard this exchange. (Lancaster has a well-known pilot shop located on the field.) Cessna 12345:“Lancaster Tower, Cessna 12345 right base for runway 31, three miles out.” Lancaster Tower:“Cessna 12345: Cleared to land, runway 31.” Cessna 12345:“Cleared to land, runway 31.” [10-second pause] Cessna 12345:“We’re heading […]

I was climbing out of Salt Lake in the King Air, and Salt Lake Center gave me a number of heading changes. Center:“King Air 114CW, turn left to heading 095.” [pause] Center:“King Air 114CW, turn right, heading 125.” Me:“Center, 4CW. What is the reason for the heading changes? Am I overtaking traffic ahead?” Center:“4CW, I […]