Short Final

On approach into OAK, I was left-hand seat in the Cessna 182, and my wife was working the radio with the following transmissions: OAK Tower:“Cessna 1234, cleared to land. Caution: banner-towing plane crossing in front of you.” Cessna 1234:“Cleared to land – and we have the banner on the right and the plane on the […]

Overheard on a flight from Brest to Toulon in France: Airliner 123:“Control, didn’t you forget Airline 123?” [pause] Female Voice from Control Tower:“Sorry, sir. I really did forget you.” Airline 123:“No problem. I have one like that at home, too.” Jan Evensvia e-mail

Years ago, when there were flight service stations: TriPacer 3438A:“Chicago area radio, this is TriPacer 3438A requesting a practice DF steer to Joliet.” Chicago:“38A, we are very busy now and unable a to provide a practice steer. We can only respond to a lost aircraft.” [pregnant pause] TriPacer 3438A:“O.K. 38A will take one of those.” […]

A few years ago, I was routinely flying my Bonanza from Houston Hobby to Austin. The trip was normally very predictable, including the knowledge that radio traffic, when handed over to Austin Approach, was extremely busy and communications needed to be very efficient. On one trip, the Approach controller changed those rules and added some […]

Heard over northern Florida last night: Jacksonville Center:“Airliner XYZ: Turn left, heading 320.” Airliner XYZ:“Is that a 320 heading for Airliner XYZ?” Jacksonville Center:“No, that should be, ‘Turn left, heading 230’ for Airliner XYZ. Sorry about that. Five out of four controllers are dyslexic.” Airliner XYZ:“No problem. Five out of three pilots, same thing. Airliner […]

This is a nice one from a few years back. I know the captain of the aircraft, so I’m sure it’s authentic. A South African Airways B747 just off LHR had a problem and said they were returning and would need to dump fuel for landing. London Departure:“You are approaching Windsor Castle, and the Queen […]

Overheard over the Florida panhandle this week. Jax Center:“Airliner 123, Jacksonville Center. Climb and maintain FL 320.” [20 seconds later] Jax Center:“Airliner 123, Jacksonville Center. Climb and maintain FL 320.” [30 seconds later] Jax Center:“Airliner 123, do you copy Jacksonville Center?” Airliner 123:“Airliner 123. Climb and maintain 320. Sorry – we were on our laptops.” […]

On a recent trip in my Cirrus from KSAV to KPDK, I had this exchange with Atlanta Approach. (This was right after the FL-GA football game where the Gators won … again.) ATL:“N267CP, you are cleared to PDK via the TRBOW8 arrival. Proceed direct from present position to TRBOW.” N267CP (me) :“N267CP cleared direct TRBOW […]

Yellowknife Tower:“British Airways, this is Yellowknife Control.” [No response.] [Long pause.] Yellowknife Tower:“Cherokee XYZ, this is Yellowknife Control.” Cherokee XYZ:“Yellowknife, this is XYZ.” Yellowknife Tower:“We gave you the wrong transponder code on takeoff; please change to 1234.” [Pause.] Yellowknife Tower:“We mistook you for British Airways.” Cherokee XYZ:“Easy mistake.” Chris Hollowayvia e-mail

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Airliner:“Approach, what’s our sequence?” Approach:“Calling for the sequence, I missed your callsign – but if I find out what it is, you’re last.” Courtesy of the Top Twenty Actual Transmissions Heard in the O’HareTracon, from IntentionallyLeftBlank, the newsletter of O’Hare’s National Air Traffic Controllers Association.