Short Final

A pilot recently got a little distracted when calling in over Illinois: Chicago Center:“56Y, please say destination.” 56Y:“That’s Mike Gulf Whiskey, ma’am.” wingman:“I think he meant to say ‘Mike Gulf Yankee.’” Chicago Center:“Is that correct, 56Y?” 56Y:“Yes, ma’am. Sorry. I was thirsty.” Karl Hippvia e-mail

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” NXXXXX:“Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?” Approach:“XXX, the faster you go, the quicker you’ll get here.” Courtesy of the Top Twenty Actual Transmissions Heard in the O’Hare Tracon, from IntentionallyLeftBlank, the newsletter of O’Hare’s National Air Traffic Controllers Association.

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” My VIP passenger showed up late for a two-hour flight. At 4,000 feet, we were halfway to the destination when he announced his bowels needed immediate attention and landing right now was not an option. Me:“Chicago Center, Five Eight Six Five Papa requests an immediate landing at Kankakee […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” CTAF offers a smorgasbord of irritating communications techniques. Somewhere in California’s Central Valley, I heard a pilot repeatedly report, “Turning left, final, runway 20.” After what must have been the tenth “left final,” a pilot who’d obviously had it replied: “There is no left final; there is no […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Most Center controllers don’t have a highly developed sense of humor about radar limitations, but one I heard at Jacksonville Center does: Cessna:“JAX Center, Cessna One Two Three Four.” Center:“Cessna One Two Three Four, JAX Center. Go ahead.” Cessna:“Cessna One Two Three Four is 20 miles north of […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” I’m a controller at Terre Haute, Indiana, and I was working data while my female supervisor got her currency on arrival radar. She was wondering about the on-course heading of an overflight. The conversation went something like this: Approach:“Seven Six One Zulu Bravo, say your heading to 22G.” […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Approach:“Cessna Nine Four Four Two November, descend to 2,500 feet, proceed along the east side of the river, then left to 280 at Central Park.” Me (sincerely, since I’d never been there before):“Approach, how will I know when I’m at Central Park?” Approach:“Just watch for the muggers.” Larry […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” Approach:“Cessna One Two Three X-Ray Yankee: Traffic is at your 12 o’clock, 5 miles and 3000 feet – a Saab 340.” Cessna 123XY:“Looking. Where is he? Over the river?” Approach:“Traffic no factor. He’s over the river, through the woods, and on his way to grandmother’s house. Contact tower […]

Last week, while helping a friend move his airplane from El Monte airport to Hawthorne airport, we were on approach into El Monte when I heard the aviation equivalent of “Who’s on First”: El Monte Tower:“Helicopter 11 Alpha, say parking.” Helicopter 11A (heavy foreign accent) :“Uh, please repeat.” El Monte Tower:“Helicopter 11 Alpha, say parking.” […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” A few years ago, when I drove up to my airport, there was an Aeronca there with two men looking at a chart. One of the men with the chart:“This is Catherine, Alabama, isn’t it?” Me:“Yes, sir, it is.” The man with the chart:“Can you show me Catherine […]