Short Final

More from our How big is it? file… On a pleasant spring morning at the Ohio State University’s Don Scott airport, with many students doing the required bounce-and-goes on 27L and 27R, I was cleared to taxi to the less active 32: C-172: Holding short 32 awaiting release. Twr: Student C-150 departing 27L. Position and […]

More from our “Flying IS fun” file… I took my cousin for a plane ride a few years ago. After an hour, we headed back to DuPage airport. The last 10 minutes of the flight were quiet, with almost no conversation. About six miles out, I keyed the mic and opened my mouth to contact […]

More from our “How they handle the stress” file… Part of the passenger arrival briefing from the lone flight attendant on a United Express O’Hare-to-Memphis flight. “Please remove all personal items from the aircraft. Any items left on board can be found at my yard sale next Sunday.”

More from our “Employee Relations” file… (Two company DH8’s on final into Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.) Controller: CO1234, your traffic is company DH8, at your 11 o’clock, 3,000. CO1234: Roger Saskatoon, have company DH8 in sight, too close for missiles, going to guns. Controller: Roger … please avoid hitting tower.

Controller: Cessna 12345, traffic at your 11 o’clock is a National Guard helicopter at 1500 feet. Cessna 12345: Tower, 12345, negative contact. Looking for traffic. Controller: Cessna 12345, guard helicopter is unarmed. Cessna 12345: I would hope so… (pause) Cessna 12345: Tower, 12345, have field in sight. No friendly fire. Request frequency change. Controller: (Laughing) […]

In a holding pattern behind several aircraft… Pilot: …your estimate for our clearance for the approach. Controller: Bonanza 1234, is there a problem? Pilot: Do the words, “Daddy, I gotta go potty!” mean anything to you? Controller: Bonanza 1234, cleared for the approach.

A sailplane turned final too low to make the desired runway. Equipped with a hand-held microphone, the pilot radioed his intention to change runways … Glider: Glider ABC can’t make 29 taking 24. Unicom: Glider ABC, are you having control problems? Glider: I can eliminate one if I let go of this microphone.

Heard at Republic Airport, Long Island. Ground controller to a cargo Beech-18 taxiing in: “What are you hauling today?” Twin Beech: “Ten thousand baby chicks … we had a heck of a job getting them to put their seat belts on.”

From our “Learning to fly is FUN” file… Student pilot to irate instructor: “You’re simply impossible to satisfy. I just finished navigating successfully through a boiling fluid swirling around a rotating sphere that is hurtling around a fusion reaction source at thousands of miles per hour. This system is moving in a circular motion around […]

Ground Controller observed an aircraft make a wrong turn off the ramp and was proceeding in the opposite direction then intended. Controller: “Waterski 1234, it appears you’ve made a wrong turn and are heading in the wrong direction. Turn right next taxiway and taxi via runway 22 to runway 31.” Pilot: “We’re looking at the […]