Short Final

We had lost our autopilot and advised the local ATC controller in the Kyrgyz Republic that we were not RVSM-compliant. This prompted the following exchange: Aircraft 1234 (us) :“Aircraft 1234, Osh control. State nature of the problem?” Osh Control:“Osh Control, Aircraft 1234. We have lost our autopilot.” [long pause] Osh Control:“Aircraft 1234, which pilot doesn’t […]

This happened just three days ago, during instrument training, while copying and reading back a clearance for only the second time ever. Clearance Delivery (after I’d read back my clearance correctly) :“Readback correct. What runway, and how long?” Me:“Runway 03, and it’s 4,200 feet long.” I can only imagine what the controller said at that […]

Back in the 1970s, while flying an MU-2 into El Paso, Texas, I heard the following exchange between approach and an airline crew after repeated attempts to get the crew to reduce speed: Approach:“Flight 123, I must have you at 120 knots right now.” Captain of Flight 123:“Son, do you have any idea of the […]

When an air traffic controller asked an aircraft to reduce speed even more than he already had: Aircraft 1234:“If I reduce any further, I’ll fall out of the sky!” Controller:“Roger. Report leaving altitudes on descent.” Ed LeSagevia e-mail

One day I took a friend’s son up for a flight in my Cessna 150. As we flew around the area, I explained, “One of the things we have to do is look out for other airplanes.” As I was scanning the skies, I found a plane off in the distance and pointed it out […]

In view of all the recent hurricane news coverage, I recalled a pertinent exchange from the the Port Columbus, Ohio (CMH) tower. I worked at the “Lane Gate” vehicle check point for several years, regularly monitoring the tower frequency to get a “play by play” description of what was going on around me. I overheard […]

Royal Flying Doctor Service was flying a B200 IFR out of Broken Hill, Australia and had a young student doctor in the right seat, who was unfamiliar with flying and for whom English was a second language. As the flight progressed, the pilot noticed the student becoming more and more uncomfortable and, after a normal […]

Heard on KBIS tower frequency years ago: Tower:“NorthWest XYZ, cleared to land, 31. Be advised of model rocketry testing from the United Tribes Educational Center just west of the airport.” Northwest XYZ (with a Texas drawl) :“Ah liked it bettah when they only used bows and arrows.” Rob Scarlettvia e-mail

Overheard on the radio a few years ago: N1234:“Kalamazoo approach, student pilot N1234 five miles west.” Approach:“Are you the red and blue Cessna 172?” N1234:“Yes. How did you knnow?” Approach:“I have color radar. N1234, go to tower 123.45.” Me:“Kalamazoo approach, white Bonanza with black and red stripes checking in.” Approach (laughing) :“I used to fly […]

Departing north from Moorabbin (YMMB) on a warm summer’s day, in a very tired rental Arrow, I was cleared to climb in class C over the busy approach to Melbourne. Centre:“ABC, cleared to Eildon Weir; climb 7,500.” [shortly thereafter …] Centre:“ABC, maintain best rate of climb.” Me:“Best rate? I’m pedaling as fast as I can.” […]