Short Final

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” While in the pattern at Islip, New York, during a quiet time, we’d performed about 20 touch-and-goes, each time receiving a bland “cleared for touch-and-go” from the tower. Eventually, a Southwest Boeing 737 called the tower inbound: Southwest:“Tower, Southwest Fourteen Thirty-One.” Tower:“Southwest Fourteen Thirty-One, cleared for touch-and-go.” Southwest […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” After clearing runway 161 at Van Nuys, California Airport, the tower asked my destination on the field. The conversation continued as follows: Tower:“Okay, cross runways 16L and 16R, continue taxi straight ahead to [name of FBO] and stay with me.” Me:“Crossing 16L and 16R, and appreciate the invitation […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” I was on V16 just off New York’s JFK Airport at 6,000 feet when New York departure called. Departure:“Mooney One Victor Sierra, say airspeed.” Me:“One hundred seventy-five knots.” Departure:“Bonanza Five Eight Two, say speed.” Bonanza:“One five five.” Departure:“Can you go any faster?” Bonanza:“Negative.” Departure:“Mooney One Victor Sierra, reduce […]

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” I heard this at Hanscom Air Force Base (Bedford, Massachusetts): Tower:“Westwind Two Three Four, taxi into position and hold.” Westwind 234:“Roger – assume the position.” Don DrugaLexington, Massachusetts

Overheard in IFR Magazine‘s “On the Air” I heard this one at Detroit Metro as I was taxiing to parking. It was between a helicopter pilot and the control tower quite early one morning: Helicopter Pilot:“Metro tower, Helicopter 234 at Signature. Request northwest departure information Tango.” Tower:“Helicopter 234, northwest departure approved. No known traffic in […]

My instructor and I were flying around today (July 8, 2009) and had an interesting exchange with ATC. I don’t know if you’ll include it in the “Short Final,” but we got a chuckle out of it. We were doing maneuvers under the hood in a BE-76 Duchess. My instructor had failed my left engine, […]

Many years ago, I had just landed at Cairns in Far North Queensland, when an incoming DC-9 called over the radio: DC-9:“Cairns Tower, TN 123. Request a wheelchair to meet the flight on arrival. It’s the Captain’s last landing.” Tower responded appropriately. I thought this was too good to miss, so I stayed on the […]

At the Charlottetown (CYYG) airport last summer, while doing my run-up in my 172, an air Canada flight had just finished copping their clearance when they saw an osprey fly by with a large flounder in its talons. They contacted the tower: Dash-8:“Charlottetown Tower, Air Canada 123.” Charlottetown Tower:“Go ahead.” Dash-8:“There’s an osprey that just […]

I was on Salt Lake Center frequency at FL380 when ATC told us to do something odd: Salt Lake Center:“Piaggio 123 [this is not our call sign or flight number], turn right, heading 3-7-0; maintain FL 380.” Me:“Umm, say again for Piaggio 123?” Salt Lake Center:“Piaggio 123, turn right heading 3-7-0, maintain FL380.” Me:“Sir, my […]

On a recent trip departing Oakland while taxiing over to 29 in my Eclipse Jet: Ground Control:What is your true airspeed at altitude? Me:370 knots. Ground Control:What kind of engines? Me:Pratt and Whitney 610 fan jet. Ground Control:How much thrust? Me:900 lbs. per side. Ground Control:[Silence.] Me:We’re part of their hair dryer division. John Wrightvia […]