Recently overheard on the frequency:
Said: “Are you navigating to your destination by another fix?”
Meant: “Are you lost?”
Said: “Verify you have the localizer.”
Meant: “Do you know how to hold a course?”
Said: “Verify altimeter setting.”
Meant: “Can you even approximate holding an altitude?”
Said: “Correcting.”
Meant: “I was on my phone playing the new version of Microsoft Flight Simulator.”
Said: “I’ll pass your request down the line.”
Meant: “Snowball in hell…”
